someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
