The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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