I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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