I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
