Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
