2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
