How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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