I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
