He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
