You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
the liver wants what the liver wants
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
