I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
