it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
