Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Randomize