And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
