Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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