his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
