Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
