we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
