If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We have started to decorate penises.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
