Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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