She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
