Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
