just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
