So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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