You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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