super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
