i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
