Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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