I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
