rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
