Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
