the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize