wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
