The brown eye won't let me do that either.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
