at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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