bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
