I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Randomize
