He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so let's talk penis.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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