Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
