My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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