Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
