How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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