Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You may now shotgun with the bride
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize