i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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