i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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