he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
