can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
