hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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