I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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