You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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