that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
