Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize