Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
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