I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize