you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
