You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
