If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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