I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
