I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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