I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
