My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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