Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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