he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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