I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
