I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Randomize
