i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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