the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
